Living Life with an A-hole

Are you familiar with the phrase, my eyes are bigger than my stomach? Well, mine usually are. I also suffer from my taste being bigger than my wallet. Something I’m sure I’m not alone in.

For a while now, I’ve convinced myself that I need a new laptop. The one I have has seen better days. There was a time when the battery was used to hold a charge, or the hard drive didn’t pop and click like an elderly man getting out of bed. It was never the fastest or most powerful, but it got the job done for me. So say what you like, but I like large hard drives and RAM.

So I’ve been sneaking around behind its back. It started out innocent enough. Just advert. No big deal. Then in April I bought my wife a new iPad mini. While I was in the store, I perused the laptops. Checked out the new OS system, three versions newer than what I know.  I remember when laptops were just a subcategory of computers. Now they have subcategories of their own: ultra, touch, gaming, fit-in-your-pocket, designer, cabriolets, 2- 3- 4- 5-in-one. Some have more forms than Optimus Prime.

That’s when I became dastardly. I used my own laptop, as non assuming as it was, to seek out a new partner. Sure I told myself it was just research, but you and I know better. I was on the market again. Then I ran into a wall. I wasn’t going to get any laptop to come home with me with a sad pitiful wallet. It just wasn’t going to happen.

I think my laptop finally figured it out, though, and in its own way, told me how it felt about it. One of the keys popped out. The A key. That’s right. Now I’m left with an A-hole.

The A holeMy laptop was calling me an A-hole.

The nerve! After all I had done for it. The years I spent with it. The updates we went through. The viruses we fought off. Didn’t I pay for its bigger RAM?  Well I set off at once to retaliate. I searched out all the deals I could. I talked to salesmen. I typed with endless abandon on countless keyboards.

But that wasn’t me. I couldn’t afford those things. I didn’t need those things. Everything I ever needed was right here. The tool didn’t matter. It’s the one who wields it that does. So I’ve come crawling back.

And to show my true feelings, I’ve sprung for a new battery, cleaned up the desktop and hard drive, and deleted all bookmarked electronics web pages. I’ve even been watching some online tutorials on keyboard repairs. That way when the replacement A key arrives in the mail, I’ll be able to personally fix my A-hole problem.

So I’ll ask you, what do you write on? Not that I’m looking, but does your writing implement of choice have to be the latest and greatest, or do you write on an old dinosaur-like typewriter?

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