This entire week I’ve been looking back at my progress in terms of writing. How much I created, the times I spent editing and coming to the grim conclusion that I didn’t appear to accomplish much. If you look at the little personal contest we’ve been keeping track of in the side bar, you’ll notice that I haven’t sent a single thing out this year. A fact that I’m not proud of at the moment.

Usually at these times I’m prone to falling into fits of wallowing self-pity, kicking inanimate objects, and swearing the whole writing thing off. I could really give a teenager a run for their money in terms of melodrama and angst. But this time I’m invoking my stubbornness and refusing the pity party.

Instead I look back on what I did accomplish. I’ve managed to crack open a manuscript I had presumably left for dead and started a much-needed round of edits and rewrites. Progress is slow, but progress is being made, none the less. I’ve learned a new way to tackle a story and outlined an entirely new novel from beginning to end along with subplots and possible sequels. If I had the time to dedicate to NaNoWriMo, this would’ve been perfect for it. I’ve worked on multiple collaborations, one of which we submitted to The Fiction Project at the Art House Co-op and, if you like, can be viewed here. Throw in another short story earmarked for a special, currently secret, project, and all I have to say is…

Not too shabby.

All the things I would’ve overlooked had I chose to wallow. Now I’m feeling a bit impressed given how busy I know I was with other things. I still have a ways to go, but maybe not as long as I had originally thought. Next year I’ll set goals based on what I accomplished this year, nudge that bar a little higher and knuckle down.

I want this. I never stopped wanting this. I can understand why some might think I had. If actions do speak louder than words, I can see how one might think I’ve traded my laptop for a flat-screen, content with watching the world go by instead of turning it. Well, I’m not. My actions might not be rock-star-arena loud, but they’re definitely audible.

Success doesn’t happen overnight. You need to keep at it and keep at it with a tunnel vision-like focus until that one day when someone else pulls you back and points out all the things that brought you there. Success happened and you didn’t even notice. So from here on out, this is me, diligently not noticing. Um…

You get what I mean.